a collaboration of thoughts by mandi and ash...

Before we even begin this blog, let us just say that we realize we are a minority in our convictions. Nevertheless, we would like to share our thoughts, because, well.. quite frankly, we’re a minority when it comes to a lot of things in this culture, so what the heck.. :)

Our conviction is this- that single men and women should strive to honor their future spouse-while they are still single. 

The way we choose to relate to the opposite sex now, in our singleness, has the potential to either cheapen or safe keep the value of our relationship with our future spouse.

In the book, Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, Michael Lawrence writes to single men:

A single man should recognize that any single woman with whom he speaks will probably be someone’s wife, and he will probably be someone’s husband—maybe each other’s, maybe not.
So there should be no difference in standards of physical [or emotional, ladies] intimacy between the single man’s conduct with a single woman and [the] standards [of] an already married man. Single men must conduct themselves in a way that will not result in embarrassment or shame in the future… To the single reader, then, let me encourage you tolive now in light of the future you desire. Treat all women in a way that ensures, when doubt arises, that the one woman you do marry will be able to draw confidence and faithfrom the pre-marriage deposits you made through prayerfulness and holy living… What may be considered innocent—holding hands, putting an arm around her in the pew, some “light” kissing, long talks over Starbucks coffee—all send the message to a sister that reads, “You’re mine.” …A Christian woman is first and foremost a sister in the Lord…Her heart, the “wellspring of life” (Prov. 4:23, NIV), must be guarded as if it were the man’s own!

Lawrence also gives a helpful illustration to show us the double-standard of our culture. He writes:

I have been married for sixteen years and have four children. Here are several questions I want you to consider:
•Do you think it would be acceptable or unacceptable for me,
a married man, to have sex with a woman who is not my
wife?
•Do you think it would be acceptable or unacceptable for me
to kiss, caress, and fondle a woman who is not my wife (some-
thing short of intercourse)?
•Do you think it would be acceptable or unacceptable for me
to have a meal with a woman not my wife and engage in
extended conversation about each other’s lives (likes/dis-
likes/struggles/pasts)?
If you answered “unacceptable” to three out of the three, or even two out of the three questions—“yes, it would be unacceptable for you as a married man to do those things”—I want to suggest that a double standard may exist in your mind. Many people who answer “unacceptable” with regard to me, as a married man, would not say “unacceptable” for
the single man.

We as single women, should read what Michael Lawrence writes to men, and ask ourselves, “If I were to get married next week, would I have to re-evaluate/change any of my relationships with my guy friends?

Here are some things to consider in our relationships with guys:

-How much time am I spending on the phone/text messaging with guys? If I were married, would I be comfortable allowing my husband to read my text messages with my guy friends?
-Do I spend time with guys in groups of friends or alone? Am I giving special time and attention to a guy friend that would be inappropriate, were I married?
-Am I physically giving myself to a guy in a way that I would not be able to give to him if I were married?
-Do I view my single guy friends as godly husbands for their future wives or do I flirt with boys and enjoy the attention?

Ladies.. please pray through and consider the joy of honoring your future husband and ultimately your heavenly Husband, starting with your singleness..

Resources:
Genesis 2; Proverbs 31; Ephesians 5; Colossians 3
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; 1 Peter 1:15-16
Sex and the Supremacy of Christ edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor
Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris
“The Gospel and Singleness” by David Platt

The Fear of the Lord

The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge: Prov. 1:7 and Prov. 9:10

We see “the fear of the Lord” or some variation of the words throughout Scripture. It’s overwhelming how many times it is referenced in Scripture….But, what is it? What does it really mean? It’s so critical for us to know what phrases we say and hear repeatedly actually mean.

The fear of the Lord is reverence. It is Godly awe of who God is which leads to devotion and submission. It can also be fear of God’s displeasure and fatherly discipline which also leads to submission. So, to fear the Lord is to understand who God is and submit to Him.

I like what John Piper say about the fear of the Lord: “There are two great commands in the Bible. The first is: “Fear the Lord.” And the second is “Fear not!” What we should not fear is to draw close to God and what we should fear is to run away from him. God is a joy and a refuge to those who cling to his neck, but he is a terror to those who flee. So the “fear of the Lord” is a very peaceful and secure feeling. In fact, fearing the Lord means counting on our fellowship with God to make us happier in the future than anything else could. Romans 15:4 says that the whole Bible was written to persuade us that this is true: staying close to God and not running away into sin is the most hope-full way to live. Promise after promise verifies it: “the friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him” (Psalm 25:14). “How abundant is your goodness which you have laid up for those who fear you” (Psalm 31:19). “The eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in His steadfast love” (Psalm 33:18). “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them” (Psalm 34:7). “As the heavens are high above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him” (Psalm 103:11,17). “As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear him” (Psalm 103:13). “He fulfills the desire of all who fear him” (Psalm 145:19)."

A.W. Pink says, “Happy the soul that has been awed by a view of God’s majesty, that has had a vision of God’s awful greatness, His ineffable holiness, His perfect righteousness, His irresistible power, His sovereign grace.”

Paul wrote in Philippians 2:12-13 “ Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.”

The passage was written right after He pleads with them to walk in humility. (Note the “therefore” at the beginning of verse 12.) A great definition of humility is to have a right understanding of who God is and your position in relation to Him. It seems fitting that Paul would then plead with them to work out their salvation with fear and trembling.

Isaiah 66:2 “All these things my hand has made,
and so all these things came to be, declares the LORD. But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word.”

Let’s revere God and walk humbly before Him together, fixing our eyes on Christ as we journey together on the race set out before us. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Finally...an update from my trip to India

I've been home from India for 2 months now and I still haven't posted anything about my time there.  The main reason why I haven't is because there is so many incredible stories and details that I get overwhelmed when I try to fit it into a blog post.  I really don't know where to begin, what to include, and how to summarize ten very long days into a short blog post.  This is my attempt:
The trip in May was my first trip ever to India.  I remember the first day I experienced so many emotions, smells, thoughts, and sounds that were new and unfamiliar.  I loved all of it:).  Three things stick out to me: the heat, the traffic, and crowds.
The heat: When we stepped outside for the first time at 1:30AM (Delhi time).  It was soooo HOT!  During our time there, the daytime temperature was around 110 to 115 degrees, and it "cooled off" to about 90-95 degrees at night.
The traffic:  It's like nothing we've ever experienced in the states.    Indians easily make a 2 lane street a 6 lane highway!  At one traffic light, it is likely that you'll see a few rickshaws, a cow that doesn't belong to anyone, people weaving through the traffic on foot, a man starring at you with his head pressed against your window, a bus that looks like it's been through a hail storm every day since purchased in 1967, and oh yeah, regular cars!  Horns are constantly blowing.  It's like they enjoy making music with one another as they drive. Literally, horns never stop blowing in the city!
The crowds:  Sooooo many people everywhere.  You can't escape a crowd in Delhi.  Many are homeless and just sit outside in the 115 degree heat all day. Some are laying down because they can't take the heat and have nowhere to go.  Children are working or begging.  (I'm not sure which is worse.) There's so many stories on each face.....The saddest part is that 98% of them (or more) are each day moving closer and closer to eternal death apart from a relationship with Jesus Christ, the only true Savior.  This is why I went to India.

I could write a lot of stories from my time there, but I will narrow it down to the two stories that impacted me most....
Meet Tripti:

We held a Vacation Bible School for "kids" age 0-18 every morning.  The majority of the children were from rural communities, and they could not speak English.  This was a challenge to me because I desperately wanted to communicate the beauty of the Gospel with them.  Thankfully, I had an interpreter for a lot of the time at Bible school, but there is something amazing about getting to share the Gospel with someone of a different nationality who has never heard it...in a language that both people understand.  I got to do this with Tripti.  Tripti, 16, heard from a friend that we were talking about Jesus, so she begged her Hindu family to allow her to come.  I don't think they knew about the Jesus part:).  They are very strict.  She was only able to come two days.  Tripti told me that she didn't believe there were many gods and that you must go to a temple to worship. (Hinduism) She wanted to know about this Jesus.  I was able to explain to her the true Gospel.  I gave her some resources, and she read them before coming back to Bible School.  My time with her was limited, but I could see so clearly that God was cultivating Tripti's heart in a way that is leading her to trust Him.  A day rarely goes by that I don't think of her and pray that God opens her eyes and she gives her very life for His Glory.

Meet Swarjit:

In the afternoons, our team of five girls went to a battered women's shelter to teach the book of Ruth and spend time with the women.  These women come from some amazingly horrific backgrounds.  Most have been redeemed by the blood of Christ, and we pray that others will be redeemed as well.  The women were so attentive during Bible study.  They desperately wanted to learn.  They were so kind to us.  We couldn't speak their language, and we had an interpreter for our study time.  Strangely, language didn't seem to be a barrier in making relationships.  They hugged and kissed us and spoke the few English words they knew to us.  They communicated often through translation how happy they were that we came all the way to India to teach them.  These women have felt worthless most of their lives.  For them to feel important enough for someone to travel to the other side of the world for them is incredible.  I was blessed so much by them.  Swarjit is one of those women.  Like Tripti, she's 16 years old.  There stories are totally different though.  Tripti is educated and somewhat wealthy....meaning she doesn't have to worry about where her next meal will come from.  Swarjit has experienced great loss and had to grow up very fast.  Her father passed away when she was a young child, and a religious group killed her younger brother.  She had to drop out of school to help her mother financially support her sisters.  School of any kind costs money in Delhi, so she can't go.  She held onto my arm while she poured her heart out to Gloria in tears.  It hurts me to know there are thousands of girls like her who, apart from Christ, will more than likely sell their bodies for money or end up in some other type of horrible desperate situation.  Praise be to God that Swarjit has been rescued and redeemed by the blood of Christ!  Pray that she will continue to grow in her relationship with Him and not give in to temptation while times are so difficult for her family.
There are so many stories from my short ten day experience that I wish I could include.  One woman was saved after hearing about redemption through Jesus Christ while studying Ruth.  That was a truly amazing day.  Their worship was so beautiful and sincere.  They pray with intensity and passion.  We in the western church could learn a lot from this.  They know so little yet pray and worship with such joy, trust, and passion.  We know so much, and we can be so passive, arrogant, and prideful.  I pray that you and I will let go of pride and live for Christ in a way that makes Him look like the Famous, Beautiful, Glorious, Exalted One that He is and us like the undignified, needy, desperate, finite servants we are.

"To the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." Jude 25